Happiness Vs Contentedness

Somehow my most interesting thoughts are aroused during random chats with friends. And when such thoughts come up, I think I should document them so that I do not lose track of them. So here's my last chat with a dear friend.

S: So what do you talk with him anyways? (Him being this new chat friend)
Me: many things - I dunno how i strike up such conversations with random strangers, but i manage to do it
so today we were talking abt what makes us happy in life - generally
S: and .. ?
Me: the beaches, water, sand, designing clothes, hanging out with friends, etc. etc.
What makes youu happy?
Does seeing a beautiful butterfly outside the window hovering over the plant pots make you happy?
S: eeeeee. I'm petrified of cliches. I dunno, watching a good movie makes me happy...Although again -- i'm not sure of what exactly happy means. It gives me pleasure, yes.
Me: wow! u r so full of philosphical crap. Sorry i don't mean to be mean. But really you are much more deeper than I give you credit for and I dun seem to appreciate it at all
S: he he -- i'm actually pretentious as shit. :) I can't help it -- I was born that way.
Me: Shit is not pretentious
S: Which was precisely the point of the phrase.
Me: So if you say you are pretentious as shit, then you aren't.
S: Correct. That's what the phrase means. :)
Me: So also were you not born as shit. Thats not even correct anatomically. There are different outlets for birth and for shitting.
S: See that's what happens when u talk about "happy" things with me. You should compare this conversation with ur conversation with him.
Me: I actually laughed out loud
S: So again what would make you happy?
Me: Well for me it would be
1) A job I like doing - which in my case is more or less the case
2) A good salary for that job - which in my case is not something I have achieved yet
3) A partner whom I care for lots - which in my case is more or less the case now
4) Living in a wonderful house with my partner - which in my case is not happening currently
5) A set of friends who care for me and whom I love - which is again more or less the case for me now
S: waaaah, waaah.
Joe: so that's when i realised. 3/5 - not bad at all
S: I thought you guys were talking about "little things" that make you happy ... these are all big things! Not bad at all, I agree. In fact, you almost have it made. And still, how much u crib!! :)
So that way for me it would be:
(1) A good job where i get to read and write as much as i want
(2) paid well
(3) I've published something very reputable (maybe even a book), and I'm well-known in my field and
(4) A partner
(5) and lots of pretentious friends like me with whom i can talk about pretentious things.
Me: so 5 is not achieved yet since most of ur friends like A and I, etc. are all li'l dimwits
S: Nooooooooooo. That is not what i meant at all :)
Me: Well u did put it that way
S: yes, it came out wrongly. I meant: a few good friends, some of whom are pretentious like me.
ok? ;)
Me: lol - so how many out of those 5 have u achieved?
S: i'm not even close to (1) (3) and (4) my pay is ok -- but not great.
and i'm getting along ok with (5)
Me: so 1/5. Hmmm - but you still seem happier than me. So maybe happy is a state of mind which is different for different people. I get 'unhappified' too soon
S: I think we're talking about being contented or discontented. And less about being happy.
Me: ya true
S: I'm not unhappy. And neither are you, i think.
Me: True, I'm not unhappy - I'm just discontented
S: yes! correct. And so now the question is: about what? You're 3/5 so what exactly are you discontented about? (haah, i should be a therapist!) :)
Me: I dunno - maybe -
1) About not having someone here living with me
2) About not getting to have sex
3) About people less talented than me getting ahead of me in life, just because they tom-tom themselves, or because their Dads are their best ATMs, or just because lady luck favors them more than me
4) About not being able to lose my weight and not being able to present myself as good as I dream about.....I think my list will go on and on
S: hmmmmm. (2) and (4) are addressable, I think. (3) is the hardest. Ok, (2) is also not so easy.
Me: I think 1, 2 and 4 are all addressable, but all equally difficult. But 3 will always remain. I just need to make my peace with it.
S: I dunno about that -- you could put in so extra effort for (3)
Me: Nopes 3 will always remain. Even if I become the Prime Minister of India, I will be discontent that I had to struggle so much to reach that level, but Rajiv Gandhi got it so much more easily just because of his legacy. So that will always remain. I just need to make my peace with it.
S: Are you discontented about the effort or the result?
Me: Good Question. Never thought of that. I think I will think over that for tonight....