The dark night
Nov 27 2008 - 1.50 pm
It's been 12 hours now since I last spoke with Shibu. It's been about 8 hours since he last communicated with his parents. It's been about 16 and half hours since he has been out there on the streets covering the brazen terrorist attacks on Mumbai. Just a day after returning back from our very very pleasant stay in Gangtok, we were thrown right deep into the vagaries of tough life in a city like Mumbai. A night when an iconic landmark and a beautiful edifice was turned into a battle zone. Lack of sleep, overflowing tears and constantly watching reruns of the same terror shots on TV all night made my eyes weary. That's when the phone rang and I got to hear from him that all's well and he is back in the office. Thank God for a feeling called relief.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Book Review: The Preservationist
The Preservationist is an interesting first novel by David Maine. Unlike other first novels, this one is not purely or semi autobiographical, rather it is inspired by the age old Biblical story of Noah and his ark from the book of Genesis. Like your childhood school task of 'Create a story from the outline given', David Maine takes the few outlines of the story from the Bible and creates a full fledged first novel out of it. The characters which are just names in the Bible are now characters which breathe, eat, drink, fight, gossip, rut, go through the entire gamut of emotions that all of us as human beings go through.
Born in 1963, and having travelled and lived all over the world primarily the desertscapes of Arizona, Morocco and Pakistan, it is interesting to see Maine's knowledge of vast deserts and the animals and insects that inhabit the desert plains make their way into the book. Maine's writing style is so simple but elaborate that picturesque images of the entire episode get created in your mind instantly. The book is an elegant retelling of the ancient story which captures people's efforts and hopes at a time of global disaster.
The names and quotations in the book are taken from the 1914 printing of the Douay Bible, which was an English translation from the Latin version. All names are spelled as in that edition. So Noah becomes Noe, and the God he answers to becomes Yahweh. We are also introduced to a string of characters belonging to the family of Noe: his wife (who incidentally is unnamed throughout the book and the Bible as well, even the wife herself can't remember her name in the novel), his sons - Sem, Cham and Japheth and their wives Bera, Illya and Mirn respectively. These three women are never named in the Bible; Maine names them, gives them voices, and turns them into his most fascinating characters, much more tougher than any of the muscled men. We see the Forrest Gumpian effort that Noe had to entail to bring this family of distinct personalities together to build a huge ark as God had instructed without being able to explain to his family why exactly the ark was being built. The book is awaiting a Mel Gibson to pick up the rights to make it into a spectacular movie laden with special effects.
Maine writes the entire episode in a very simplistically funny vein, for e.g.: In the following passage where he explains Noe's situation in the ark when he was unconscious for about 6 weeks:
"His day is simplified to its most basic elements:
1. Breathe.
2. Sleep.
3. Wake, or half-wake, into a foggy semi-delirium in which he chokes out half-intelligible words: Nigh tangles! or possibly Night angles! or maybe even Nightingales! Or perhaps something else entirely - nice angels? - or nothing.
4. Sip a little water from the cup the wife holds to his chin. Sip a little broth.
5. Chew a piece of carrot or flatbread, swallow it or spit it to dribble down his chin."
The great thing about the novel is that it is not preachy at all. Not about the Christian faith, not even about humanity in general. Maine could easily have slipped into a prophetical mode, where he draws parallel between the evils that plagued the society then with the ones today, and probably mention a similar catastrophe in waiting. But he avoids doing so. Instead he treats the novel just as if he is narrating a story to his kids.
Each of the characters in the family are as individualistic as any of the members in a real life joint family. So while Noe is the crazy guy who hears voices from above, his wife is this submissive, reticent lady who only does as she is instructed and expected of her. Sam is the obedient son, obedient to the point where he has no thought of his own and only listens to his father. Cham is the knowledgeable son, who has travelled far and wide and learnt more about the world outside. He is the primary boat builder. Japheth is a useless, accident prone no-gooder who can't see beyond the basic necessities of life. Sam's wife Bera is a calm, persistent and a firm believer in Yahweh. Ilya is an outsider to the family, who looks different from all the others and constantly has to face the discrimination. But since she is from a different land way up in the north, she has better knowledge of the world outside. Mirn is just a young girl, but with lots of common sense and a deep sense of curiousity for the happenings around her. While the characters are distinguished from one another by quirks and obsessions, their voices are not a problem, as the chapters alternate points of view. Every character in the story other than Noe narrates some chapters from their point of view, and then there is a narrator for Noe's part. So the story alternates between different people's first person views of the story to a third person view from time to time.
While the Bible only mentions that there was a flood and Noah and his family were entrusted with building an ark and filling it up with a male and female animal of all the species known to mankind, it offers little detail on how they actually built the ark or collected those many animals. Which Maine interestingly builds up in this novel. Maine also provides intricate details of the suffering that the family had to undergo on the boat. Writing in a breezy present tense, Maine imagines how they spend their time: telling stories, feeding larvae to birds, getting bummed out, rutting. He writes of the ship's interior: "From the darkness around them rises a dull effulgence of elephant dung, of rhino shit and wet hippo gas."
As the story progresses and the flood subsides, we even see the characters maturing as they set out to different corners of the earth to procreate and populate the earth again. And Noe's desperation as he realizes that Yahweh is no longer communicating with him, he has become one of the commoners who is left to do things on his own without any instructions. Slowly his wife grows old and dies and later he also dies a lonely death. These are the facts of the story as mentioned in the Bible, and they remain mysterious both to the characters and to the reader. Maine hasn't attempted to explain these mysteries, rather he leaves the reader wondering whether at the end of it all the entire episode was worth the trouble at all.
Born in 1963, and having travelled and lived all over the world primarily the desertscapes of Arizona, Morocco and Pakistan, it is interesting to see Maine's knowledge of vast deserts and the animals and insects that inhabit the desert plains make their way into the book. Maine's writing style is so simple but elaborate that picturesque images of the entire episode get created in your mind instantly. The book is an elegant retelling of the ancient story which captures people's efforts and hopes at a time of global disaster.
The names and quotations in the book are taken from the 1914 printing of the Douay Bible, which was an English translation from the Latin version. All names are spelled as in that edition. So Noah becomes Noe, and the God he answers to becomes Yahweh. We are also introduced to a string of characters belonging to the family of Noe: his wife (who incidentally is unnamed throughout the book and the Bible as well, even the wife herself can't remember her name in the novel), his sons - Sem, Cham and Japheth and their wives Bera, Illya and Mirn respectively. These three women are never named in the Bible; Maine names them, gives them voices, and turns them into his most fascinating characters, much more tougher than any of the muscled men. We see the Forrest Gumpian effort that Noe had to entail to bring this family of distinct personalities together to build a huge ark as God had instructed without being able to explain to his family why exactly the ark was being built. The book is awaiting a Mel Gibson to pick up the rights to make it into a spectacular movie laden with special effects.
Maine writes the entire episode in a very simplistically funny vein, for e.g.: In the following passage where he explains Noe's situation in the ark when he was unconscious for about 6 weeks:
"His day is simplified to its most basic elements:
1. Breathe.
2. Sleep.
3. Wake, or half-wake, into a foggy semi-delirium in which he chokes out half-intelligible words: Nigh tangles! or possibly Night angles! or maybe even Nightingales! Or perhaps something else entirely - nice angels? - or nothing.
4. Sip a little water from the cup the wife holds to his chin. Sip a little broth.
5. Chew a piece of carrot or flatbread, swallow it or spit it to dribble down his chin."
The great thing about the novel is that it is not preachy at all. Not about the Christian faith, not even about humanity in general. Maine could easily have slipped into a prophetical mode, where he draws parallel between the evils that plagued the society then with the ones today, and probably mention a similar catastrophe in waiting. But he avoids doing so. Instead he treats the novel just as if he is narrating a story to his kids.
Each of the characters in the family are as individualistic as any of the members in a real life joint family. So while Noe is the crazy guy who hears voices from above, his wife is this submissive, reticent lady who only does as she is instructed and expected of her. Sam is the obedient son, obedient to the point where he has no thought of his own and only listens to his father. Cham is the knowledgeable son, who has travelled far and wide and learnt more about the world outside. He is the primary boat builder. Japheth is a useless, accident prone no-gooder who can't see beyond the basic necessities of life. Sam's wife Bera is a calm, persistent and a firm believer in Yahweh. Ilya is an outsider to the family, who looks different from all the others and constantly has to face the discrimination. But since she is from a different land way up in the north, she has better knowledge of the world outside. Mirn is just a young girl, but with lots of common sense and a deep sense of curiousity for the happenings around her. While the characters are distinguished from one another by quirks and obsessions, their voices are not a problem, as the chapters alternate points of view. Every character in the story other than Noe narrates some chapters from their point of view, and then there is a narrator for Noe's part. So the story alternates between different people's first person views of the story to a third person view from time to time.
While the Bible only mentions that there was a flood and Noah and his family were entrusted with building an ark and filling it up with a male and female animal of all the species known to mankind, it offers little detail on how they actually built the ark or collected those many animals. Which Maine interestingly builds up in this novel. Maine also provides intricate details of the suffering that the family had to undergo on the boat. Writing in a breezy present tense, Maine imagines how they spend their time: telling stories, feeding larvae to birds, getting bummed out, rutting. He writes of the ship's interior: "From the darkness around them rises a dull effulgence of elephant dung, of rhino shit and wet hippo gas."
As the story progresses and the flood subsides, we even see the characters maturing as they set out to different corners of the earth to procreate and populate the earth again. And Noe's desperation as he realizes that Yahweh is no longer communicating with him, he has become one of the commoners who is left to do things on his own without any instructions. Slowly his wife grows old and dies and later he also dies a lonely death. These are the facts of the story as mentioned in the Bible, and they remain mysterious both to the characters and to the reader. Maine hasn't attempted to explain these mysteries, rather he leaves the reader wondering whether at the end of it all the entire episode was worth the trouble at all.
Dostana
The stars of the movie Dostana - Ass, Legs, and Pink Shirt in conversation with the producer of the movie, Mr Pink Money.
Pink Money (PM) : Let's start with you Ass. I hear you have a great role in the movie. Wanna talk about it?
Ass: You know I generally let my work do the talking. And I knew I would look great on John what with all of his months of exercising in preparing for this role. After Ranbir showed me off gleefully in all parts of the world other than India, John had been waiting for a while for someone to offer him a similar role. I am so glad that PM you walked along and offered him this role. Never has anyone taken me more seriously than him. John royally pampered me and prepared me for the opening shots of the movie. So you have a great opening sequence with John and me in the movie. Anyways I was always more emotive than his face. PM, it was only because of you that I got this favorable role. Although I could show very less of myself from under those briefs of his, I never looked better. Actually there are many shots of me even on Piggy Chops, but for Piggy Chops I am fashionably draped around. You always liked me more on John.
PM: That's so not true Ass, you ass! Even Piggy Chops shows off a good amount of you in the golden bikini scene in the movie. I like you on both John and Piggy.
Ass: I didn't stand a chance to be noticed in that golden bikini. I looked like such a bummer. And c'mon the bikini scene was more to show off Miss Legs.
Legs: Well, Piggy wanted to show off more of me than you anyways, Ass. Since Kareena's Tashan days, Piggy's been wanting to get one up on Kareena. And both in Fashion and Dostana she showed off lots of me. This has been the golden part of my careeer. Everyone wants to show off more of me. Ass, it will be a while more for the Indian audiences to mature and move on to you. Until then you will have to satisfy showing small peek-a-boos of yours. And trust me, the men in the audience want to see more of me than you, other than maybe PM's loyal pink fan following.
PM: Ah! my pink fans! I have so much to be thankful to them. They royally lap up anything made by my banner, thinking that it will add more razzmatazz to the pink power movement. It leads to more pink money for me, so I am not the one to complain. It's only because of my pink money that I can make all of you top stars work in my movies, even in the most ridiculous outfits. Don't you agree Pink Shirt?
Pink Shirt: What kind of a question is that? You are equating me with bad fasion sense? Didn't I look gorgeous on Abhishek in this movie? And with the pink scarf around his neck. All of it looked great. Indian men have always been comfortable with their pink shirts. I looked great even on Akshay in his last movie 'Singh is King'. He wore a floral version of me and a deep pink lungi. It was just perfect. Abhishek was a bit more resistant to wearing pink in this movie though. Actually those were just tantrums on his side to get hands on more of your pink money. He was getting no good roles and no money anyways. He had to accept this one, and I am so glad he did. He carried me off well, and I am sure I will see more Indian men turning the city and the country pink soon. Only Indian men wear their hearts on their sleeves and their shirts to match that color on their sleeves.
PM: That's great PS. Here's more to pink power. And you guys don't go anywhere, we are still in conversation with Ass, Legs and Pink Shirt, the stars of the movie Dostana.
AND NOW FOR A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE...
Yes, that's what the movie is all about. It's a showcase for John's ass, Priyanka's legs and Abhishek turning pink. It will be a hit for sure and audiences will lap it up, Karan is quite the manipulator. Even the gays in the audience will walk out of the movie thinking that this movie does showcase them positively. Obviously with two top heroes and beefcakes being paired together as a couple in the movie, no one can complain that gays are being given a raw deal in the movie. Look clearly guys, whenever they have to act gay, they go all flamboyant and loud and OTT and all they talk about is sex. And all the other gay characters in the movie are again just caricatures of everything the straight world expects when they hear the word gay. Even if all the flamboyant gay characters in the movie had been at least a bit peppered with a couple of regular, normal gay guys like the ones we see in real life, I wouldn't have complained. But clearly that is not what Karan Johar had in his mind. Ultimately the movie has to make money, and Karan also never claimed that the movie is about gay rights. So no complaints against him. I have a problem with the gay audience who are saying that the movie is the most gay-friendly movie to come out. Seriously?
The movie is indeed historical and will be talked about for ages to come. For the word gay has never been uttered in Hindi movies. And here you have an entire movie based on a gay sub plot. Just for pushing gay into Hindi mainstream cinema, I think, Karan Johar and the director of the movie, Tarun Mansukhani deserve some credit. They could have easily touched any other topic and made as much, if not more money.
If only, the makers had stuck with the gay theme and thought of a better plot to move the story forward in the second half it would have been more satisfying. So we have a very funny first half where John and Abhishek take up two rooms in Priyanka's apartment on rent. Priyanka needs the money and John and Abhishek are desperate to get the rooms. Since Priyanka would have only girls as her room mates, the two put up an act as a gay couple to get the room. This part of the plot and the jokes are heavily borrowed from the English movie 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry'. I must admit though that this movie is only a tad better than that one. At least here we have a great cast, and great songs.
As they discover the benefits of putting up this act, there are more and more people around who come to know that they are gay. So you have an overacting, but very funny Kirron Kher who discovers that her son is gay; you have a hideous Sushmita Mukherjee hamming all her way to Sindhi stardom; a gora gay immigration officer; and a flamboyant Boman Irani (great, again) who plays Priyanka's gay boss and hits on her supposedly gay roommates. So far, so good. It's when the jokes dry down in this part of the movie, that probably the makers realized that there is only so much of stretching that they can do with the Kantaben subplot from Kal Ho Na Ho. And that's where the story begins to falter. Enter Bobby Deol who is also a competition for Priyanka's attention and his kid (who is that overacting kid?) who is clamoring for his father's attention, and you have such gaping holes in the plot line that even John's ass can pass through them.
The movie is funny, yes, but largely because it is irreverent to the accepted social norms of Hindi movie making. But I beg to differ if anyone says it is a sensible, or a well made or even a genuinely funny movie. It is everything that I expect from Bollywood when I go for the movies - great looking actors, glamorous costumes, great music, great dances, and lavish sets. If all this comes with a tight script and good performances, then nothing like it. This movie gives me all of my first set of requirements, can't say much of the second set. So I end up not being disappointed in the great tradition of Bollywood movies, but that's just about it.
The movie is about friendship as the title suggests, and I must mention that all three - John, AB junior and Priyanka - look like they genuinely share a great friendship. The chemistry between the three of them shows on the screen, and especially John and Abhishek do look great together. Bobby Deol does not fit in the proceedings, no matter how much he tries, and with that irritating no-gooder son of his, he better stay away from the main story. The fast-paced songs are great and well choreographed. Especially the grand finale song - Maa Ka Laadla. The song is hugely funny especially because it cares a rat's ass about any societal norms and is hugely politically incorrect, I guess Karan Johar is coming out to his mom through the song. I hope she sess it at least now...
Pink Money (PM) : Let's start with you Ass. I hear you have a great role in the movie. Wanna talk about it?
Ass: You know I generally let my work do the talking. And I knew I would look great on John what with all of his months of exercising in preparing for this role. After Ranbir showed me off gleefully in all parts of the world other than India, John had been waiting for a while for someone to offer him a similar role. I am so glad that PM you walked along and offered him this role. Never has anyone taken me more seriously than him. John royally pampered me and prepared me for the opening shots of the movie. So you have a great opening sequence with John and me in the movie. Anyways I was always more emotive than his face. PM, it was only because of you that I got this favorable role. Although I could show very less of myself from under those briefs of his, I never looked better. Actually there are many shots of me even on Piggy Chops, but for Piggy Chops I am fashionably draped around. You always liked me more on John.
PM: That's so not true Ass, you ass! Even Piggy Chops shows off a good amount of you in the golden bikini scene in the movie. I like you on both John and Piggy.
Ass: I didn't stand a chance to be noticed in that golden bikini. I looked like such a bummer. And c'mon the bikini scene was more to show off Miss Legs.
Legs: Well, Piggy wanted to show off more of me than you anyways, Ass. Since Kareena's Tashan days, Piggy's been wanting to get one up on Kareena. And both in Fashion and Dostana she showed off lots of me. This has been the golden part of my careeer. Everyone wants to show off more of me. Ass, it will be a while more for the Indian audiences to mature and move on to you. Until then you will have to satisfy showing small peek-a-boos of yours. And trust me, the men in the audience want to see more of me than you, other than maybe PM's loyal pink fan following.
PM: Ah! my pink fans! I have so much to be thankful to them. They royally lap up anything made by my banner, thinking that it will add more razzmatazz to the pink power movement. It leads to more pink money for me, so I am not the one to complain. It's only because of my pink money that I can make all of you top stars work in my movies, even in the most ridiculous outfits. Don't you agree Pink Shirt?
Pink Shirt: What kind of a question is that? You are equating me with bad fasion sense? Didn't I look gorgeous on Abhishek in this movie? And with the pink scarf around his neck. All of it looked great. Indian men have always been comfortable with their pink shirts. I looked great even on Akshay in his last movie 'Singh is King'. He wore a floral version of me and a deep pink lungi. It was just perfect. Abhishek was a bit more resistant to wearing pink in this movie though. Actually those were just tantrums on his side to get hands on more of your pink money. He was getting no good roles and no money anyways. He had to accept this one, and I am so glad he did. He carried me off well, and I am sure I will see more Indian men turning the city and the country pink soon. Only Indian men wear their hearts on their sleeves and their shirts to match that color on their sleeves.
PM: That's great PS. Here's more to pink power. And you guys don't go anywhere, we are still in conversation with Ass, Legs and Pink Shirt, the stars of the movie Dostana.
AND NOW FOR A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE...
Yes, that's what the movie is all about. It's a showcase for John's ass, Priyanka's legs and Abhishek turning pink. It will be a hit for sure and audiences will lap it up, Karan is quite the manipulator. Even the gays in the audience will walk out of the movie thinking that this movie does showcase them positively. Obviously with two top heroes and beefcakes being paired together as a couple in the movie, no one can complain that gays are being given a raw deal in the movie. Look clearly guys, whenever they have to act gay, they go all flamboyant and loud and OTT and all they talk about is sex. And all the other gay characters in the movie are again just caricatures of everything the straight world expects when they hear the word gay. Even if all the flamboyant gay characters in the movie had been at least a bit peppered with a couple of regular, normal gay guys like the ones we see in real life, I wouldn't have complained. But clearly that is not what Karan Johar had in his mind. Ultimately the movie has to make money, and Karan also never claimed that the movie is about gay rights. So no complaints against him. I have a problem with the gay audience who are saying that the movie is the most gay-friendly movie to come out. Seriously?
The movie is indeed historical and will be talked about for ages to come. For the word gay has never been uttered in Hindi movies. And here you have an entire movie based on a gay sub plot. Just for pushing gay into Hindi mainstream cinema, I think, Karan Johar and the director of the movie, Tarun Mansukhani deserve some credit. They could have easily touched any other topic and made as much, if not more money.
If only, the makers had stuck with the gay theme and thought of a better plot to move the story forward in the second half it would have been more satisfying. So we have a very funny first half where John and Abhishek take up two rooms in Priyanka's apartment on rent. Priyanka needs the money and John and Abhishek are desperate to get the rooms. Since Priyanka would have only girls as her room mates, the two put up an act as a gay couple to get the room. This part of the plot and the jokes are heavily borrowed from the English movie 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry'. I must admit though that this movie is only a tad better than that one. At least here we have a great cast, and great songs.
As they discover the benefits of putting up this act, there are more and more people around who come to know that they are gay. So you have an overacting, but very funny Kirron Kher who discovers that her son is gay; you have a hideous Sushmita Mukherjee hamming all her way to Sindhi stardom; a gora gay immigration officer; and a flamboyant Boman Irani (great, again) who plays Priyanka's gay boss and hits on her supposedly gay roommates. So far, so good. It's when the jokes dry down in this part of the movie, that probably the makers realized that there is only so much of stretching that they can do with the Kantaben subplot from Kal Ho Na Ho. And that's where the story begins to falter. Enter Bobby Deol who is also a competition for Priyanka's attention and his kid (who is that overacting kid?) who is clamoring for his father's attention, and you have such gaping holes in the plot line that even John's ass can pass through them.
The movie is funny, yes, but largely because it is irreverent to the accepted social norms of Hindi movie making. But I beg to differ if anyone says it is a sensible, or a well made or even a genuinely funny movie. It is everything that I expect from Bollywood when I go for the movies - great looking actors, glamorous costumes, great music, great dances, and lavish sets. If all this comes with a tight script and good performances, then nothing like it. This movie gives me all of my first set of requirements, can't say much of the second set. So I end up not being disappointed in the great tradition of Bollywood movies, but that's just about it.
The movie is about friendship as the title suggests, and I must mention that all three - John, AB junior and Priyanka - look like they genuinely share a great friendship. The chemistry between the three of them shows on the screen, and especially John and Abhishek do look great together. Bobby Deol does not fit in the proceedings, no matter how much he tries, and with that irritating no-gooder son of his, he better stay away from the main story. The fast-paced songs are great and well choreographed. Especially the grand finale song - Maa Ka Laadla. The song is hugely funny especially because it cares a rat's ass about any societal norms and is hugely politically incorrect, I guess Karan Johar is coming out to his mom through the song. I hope she sess it at least now...
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