It was the hump day of the week. I was at the pantry by the coffee machine. So a colleague walks in and asks "How are you?" I was tempted to say 'tired, lazy, sleepy'. But I just said 'I am fine' and walked away. I wanted to tell her 'You know what? I was out shopping with a friend until late night 11 pm yesterday and reached home only by 12 and slept only by 12.30 and got up in the morning to reach work again at 6 am. I hardly slept and now I am feeling very sleepy. ' I didn't tell her that though. I didn't feel that close to her. This is despite the fact that we are great friends and can seem to talk about most things without any restraint. I could not figure out why I didn't tell her what I wanted to tell her.
That caught me thinking. Why is it so that despite living, working, commuting and shopping together, most people feel estranged from one another? We talk about what we can’t control (sports, the weather) to avoid discussing what we aren’t allowed to control (our work, the world, our feelings).
And I feel more like it here in the US of A as compared to India. What is it so about the US of A that I don't relate myself with the society here? Might be the capitalist culture I think. The consumerism. The body fascism. The fight to look and be the best at all times. It takes a toll on our relationships.
Hmmm - gotta get back to work. Can't spend all time at work penning my sad stories.
2 comments:
It will be interesting to see your blog after you have lived there for a few years :-)
I have been thru a similar transition. And I have seen friends going thru it.
And have had people who came before me remind me about my transition!
True. I completely agree with you. After a point of time you adapt so much to the culture and mannerisms of the people around you that you might feel like a foreigner when you go back to your home town. I hope it happens later rather than sooner with me, 'coz I am not planning to be here for long here anyways...I hope I don't feel lost when I am back home in a few months...
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