Ah - the things I can do for a free flush!

It always amazes me at the American tourists' thoughtlessness to point out that there are no public restrooms in India. As a child when I used to watch travel shows (especially the travel segment in that eternal favorite 'Surabhi'), I remember some American tourists' complaining to a reporter that they loved the Taj but what they did not like was that there were no public restrooms around. Of course, the Indian tourist industry did take note of that and the last time that I went to the Taj about 10 years ago, there were public restrooms built there. They were not the cleanest, the most efficient, the most fragrant-free restrooms that an American might have encountered, but oh well, at least they are present. And so too in most cities and tourist spots in the country, I would like to believe.

In contrast, in the Big Apple, one thing that constantly hits me in the face (that's not exactly the correct usage, but I could not get below the belt with this usage) is the lack of public restrooms. And that too with the advent of the chill season once again, the pressure just builds up. As far as I am aware of, there are some public restrooms only in Times Square (the Charmin toilets) in the city.

I have read of efforts in the past by the local NYC administrations to get started on building public restrooms around NYC. But those efforts have all only led to naught. Chronicling this sad history and the persistent dearth of toilets,NYTimes columnist Clyde Haberman once wrote, “The fact remains that this is one of the few great world cities that make no attempt to help people cope with so basic a need, a situation that constantly amazes residents and visitors alike.” Now I hear of articles in newspapers about a campaign called 'Pottypalooza' (nice name, that) which is a marketing effort, in which the marketing firm drives a long trailer, fitted with 27 toilets, around the country, to events like the Super Bowl.

All said and done, the efforts seem far and few for the millions of public yearning to pee, especially in the nail biting cold that there is now. The efforts don't seem to be coming either from the government or from the corporate world. It could be something as simple as a pay-per-flush program if the corporate world does not want to sponsor a loss-making program. I am sure with the millions that they will rake in per pee, it won't be a loss making endeavour after all. I agree bodily excretion is the most non-glamorous of our everyday glamorous NYC lives (if ever, the public restrooms won't make it to the glossy screens of Sex and the City) But isn't it funny that in a post modern society like ours, we are denying the very existence of bodily excretion?

Sometimes I even wonder whether the city's administrative body is not installing public restrooms for a purpose. Maybe they actually make some money out of not installing public restrooms. With no public restrooms, customers will enter a store to use the bathroom. Perhaps they will be forced to buy a drink or a coffee just to use the bathroom at that establishment. That means more tax dollars and more revenue - at the public's inconvenience.

In fact, it is funny that it is a coffee-shop chain that is serving as the city's public restroom. Starbucks should rather be rechristened as Starflush. On any cold winter day, you can rest assured that there will a longer queue in front of the restroom within a Starbucks outlet as compared to the billing counter. I know that there are people opposed to Starbucks everywhere because it has corporatized the neighborhood Mom & Pop coffee shops and small-eats eateries. It has driven out neighborhood cafes everywhere and it seems to reside on nearly every corner in the city, but it does serve one great purpose as the public restroom. So long as you are not far from a Starbucks, you not far from a free flush.