Dostana

The stars of the movie Dostana - Ass, Legs, and Pink Shirt in conversation with the producer of the movie, Mr Pink Money.

Pink Money (PM) : Let's start with you Ass. I hear you have a great role in the movie. Wanna talk about it?

Ass: You know I generally let my work do the talking. And I knew I would look great on John what with all of his months of exercising in preparing for this role. After Ranbir showed me off gleefully in all parts of the world other than India, John had been waiting for a while for someone to offer him a similar role. I am so glad that PM you walked along and offered him this role. Never has anyone taken me more seriously than him. John royally pampered me and prepared me for the opening shots of the movie. So you have a great opening sequence with John and me in the movie. Anyways I was always more emotive than his face. PM, it was only because of you that I got this favorable role. Although I could show very less of myself from under those briefs of his, I never looked better. Actually there are many shots of me even on Piggy Chops, but for Piggy Chops I am fashionably draped around. You always liked me more on John.

PM: That's so not true Ass, you ass! Even Piggy Chops shows off a good amount of you in the golden bikini scene in the movie. I like you on both John and Piggy.

Ass: I didn't stand a chance to be noticed in that golden bikini. I looked like such a bummer. And c'mon the bikini scene was more to show off Miss Legs.

Legs: Well, Piggy wanted to show off more of me than you anyways, Ass. Since Kareena's Tashan days, Piggy's been wanting to get one up on Kareena. And both in Fashion and Dostana she showed off lots of me. This has been the golden part of my careeer. Everyone wants to show off more of me. Ass, it will be a while more for the Indian audiences to mature and move on to you. Until then you will have to satisfy showing small peek-a-boos of yours. And trust me, the men in the audience want to see more of me than you, other than maybe PM's loyal pink fan following.

PM: Ah! my pink fans! I have so much to be thankful to them. They royally lap up anything made by my banner, thinking that it will add more razzmatazz to the pink power movement. It leads to more pink money for me, so I am not the one to complain. It's only because of my pink money that I can make all of you top stars work in my movies, even in the most ridiculous outfits. Don't you agree Pink Shirt?

Pink Shirt: What kind of a question is that? You are equating me with bad fasion sense? Didn't I look gorgeous on Abhishek in this movie? And with the pink scarf around his neck. All of it looked great. Indian men have always been comfortable with their pink shirts. I looked great even on Akshay in his last movie 'Singh is King'. He wore a floral version of me and a deep pink lungi. It was just perfect. Abhishek was a bit more resistant to wearing pink in this movie though. Actually those were just tantrums on his side to get hands on more of your pink money. He was getting no good roles and no money anyways. He had to accept this one, and I am so glad he did. He carried me off well, and I am sure I will see more Indian men turning the city and the country pink soon. Only Indian men wear their hearts on their sleeves and their shirts to match that color on their sleeves.

PM: That's great PS. Here's more to pink power. And you guys don't go anywhere, we are still in conversation with Ass, Legs and Pink Shirt, the stars of the movie Dostana.




AND NOW FOR A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE...

Yes, that's what the movie is all about. It's a showcase for John's ass, Priyanka's legs and Abhishek turning pink. It will be a hit for sure and audiences will lap it up, Karan is quite the manipulator. Even the gays in the audience will walk out of the movie thinking that this movie does showcase them positively. Obviously with two top heroes and beefcakes being paired together as a couple in the movie, no one can complain that gays are being given a raw deal in the movie. Look clearly guys, whenever they have to act gay, they go all flamboyant and loud and OTT and all they talk about is sex. And all the other gay characters in the movie are again just caricatures of everything the straight world expects when they hear the word gay. Even if all the flamboyant gay characters in the movie had been at least a bit peppered with a couple of regular, normal gay guys like the ones we see in real life, I wouldn't have complained. But clearly that is not what Karan Johar had in his mind. Ultimately the movie has to make money, and Karan also never claimed that the movie is about gay rights. So no complaints against him. I have a problem with the gay audience who are saying that the movie is the most gay-friendly movie to come out. Seriously?

The movie is indeed historical and will be talked about for ages to come. For the word gay has never been uttered in Hindi movies. And here you have an entire movie based on a gay sub plot. Just for pushing gay into Hindi mainstream cinema, I think, Karan Johar and the director of the movie, Tarun Mansukhani deserve some credit. They could have easily touched any other topic and made as much, if not more money.

If only, the makers had stuck with the gay theme and thought of a better plot to move the story forward in the second half it would have been more satisfying. So we have a very funny first half where John and Abhishek take up two rooms in Priyanka's apartment on rent. Priyanka needs the money and John and Abhishek are desperate to get the rooms. Since Priyanka would have only girls as her room mates, the two put up an act as a gay couple to get the room. This part of the plot and the jokes are heavily borrowed from the English movie 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry'. I must admit though that this movie is only a tad better than that one. At least here we have a great cast, and great songs.

As they discover the benefits of putting up this act, there are more and more people around who come to know that they are gay. So you have an overacting, but very funny Kirron Kher who discovers that her son is gay; you have a hideous Sushmita Mukherjee hamming all her way to Sindhi stardom; a gora gay immigration officer; and a flamboyant Boman Irani (great, again) who plays Priyanka's gay boss and hits on her supposedly gay roommates. So far, so good. It's when the jokes dry down in this part of the movie, that probably the makers realized that there is only so much of stretching that they can do with the Kantaben subplot from Kal Ho Na Ho. And that's where the story begins to falter. Enter Bobby Deol who is also a competition for Priyanka's attention and his kid (who is that overacting kid?) who is clamoring for his father's attention, and you have such gaping holes in the plot line that even John's ass can pass through them.

The movie is funny, yes, but largely because it is irreverent to the accepted social norms of Hindi movie making. But I beg to differ if anyone says it is a sensible, or a well made or even a genuinely funny movie. It is everything that I expect from Bollywood when I go for the movies - great looking actors, glamorous costumes, great music, great dances, and lavish sets. If all this comes with a tight script and good performances, then nothing like it. This movie gives me all of my first set of requirements, can't say much of the second set. So I end up not being disappointed in the great tradition of Bollywood movies, but that's just about it.

The movie is about friendship as the title suggests, and I must mention that all three - John, AB junior and Priyanka - look like they genuinely share a great friendship. The chemistry between the three of them shows on the screen, and especially John and Abhishek do look great together. Bobby Deol does not fit in the proceedings, no matter how much he tries, and with that irritating no-gooder son of his, he better stay away from the main story. The fast-paced songs are great and well choreographed. Especially the grand finale song - Maa Ka Laadla. The song is hugely funny especially because it cares a rat's ass about any societal norms and is hugely politically incorrect, I guess Karan Johar is coming out to his mom through the song. I hope she sess it at least now...