Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Something new that I learnt today
A friend...no, sorry, an acquaintance of mine, has been very active on the web and online messenger services and social networking sites posting inflammatory messages and articles, suggesting that a war is the only answer to the 26/11 attacks on Mumbai(refer to my previous post on war whores, here, which also applies to him) and getting into an argument with anyone who does not agree with him. On discussing with others as to what should be the reason for such a behavior on his part, I learnt a new term 'Internt troll' which is applicable to him. Here is wikipedia on Internet trolls. Quite interesting!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
What's with the indecorum, Mr Politician?
I got a text message last night, which was the funniest amongst all the messages that are doing the rounds since the 26/11 attacks. It read "Ram Gopal Verma ki bas yahi kamaai; do sarkar banaayi aur ek giraayi". This might very well be the case, given that the CM has refused to see light even after repeated arguments by the common populace and the media that what he has done was improper. Mr Deshmukh justified his action by saying "Mr Verma is not a terrorist".
RGV (though he is not a minister) was equally blunt when he continuously went on justifying himself and the CM in an interview with Sreenivasan Jain from NDTV. Finally Vasu gave him one last chance to redeem himself, and asked him given the public reaction to the "terror tourism" that he indulged in, if such an opportunity arose again in the future, would he do it? RGV answered very much assertively that he would. There is a thin line between being candid and going overboard, that was when RGV crossed the line.
The ex-Deputy CM, RR Patil went one step ahead and said "Bade bade shahron mein aise ekaadh haadse hote rahte hai". With that comment he made the 26/11 attacks as another common place accident, nothing that the media and common man should get hyper about. The insensitivity was one of the many reasons, he lost his position, that's why the ex besides his designation. His followers tried to make light of it by saying Mr Patil was not well versed in Hindi, and hence he might have misworded what he actually meant. The explanation was too little, too late.
The crudest and the most unexplicable gaffe, now being called 'the lipstick gaffe' came from BJP member, Mr Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi. If I remember well his version when translated in English read as "Ladies wearing lipstick, applying talcum powder and following western culture, light a candle and protest against the politicians. They are similar to the terrorists in Kashmir, demonising politicians, and bad mouthing democracy". Obviously women's groups are in a furore all over the country. So apparently ladies wearing lipstick and applying talcum powder have no right to protest or voice their opinion, they can be equated with terrorists. What a liberating thought!
The biggest and unforgivable statement is the one coming from Kerala's CM, Mr Achutanandan. Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan who is a Malayalee was killed in the 26/11 attacks, when he was rescuing the people trapped in the Taj. After his body made it to Bengaluru, and after even the Karnataka CM made it to his house to offer condolences, there was a media frenzy in Kerala, prompting Mr Achutanandan to express his desire to pay his last respects to the Major's family. Apparently saddened by his son's loss, the Major's father made it clear to the CM that he did not wish to meet anyone. Even then the next day, the CM with his entourage reached the Major's house to pay his respects. Shaken because of his son's death and angered by the politics around something as trivial as paying respects to him, the Major's father drove out the entire group from out of his house and shouted out aloud "Get out of my house, you dogs!" After going back to Kerala, the Kerala CM tells in an interview "A soldier's father should be more sensible. If it was not the house of Major Sandeep (a martyr), not even a dog would have turned up there". It is ridiculous that a person at such a responsible position can utter such insensitive statements and even refuse to apologize.
The politicians and ministers have to understand that they are public servants and not drown in the highrises of their chairs. Emotions are running high all over the country nowadays, and the dirty politics which seem to follow every such event just seem to be beginning. The boiling point of people's emotions seems not too far off now, if the heat does not die soon, and the first ones to get scalded might be the politicians.
RGV (though he is not a minister) was equally blunt when he continuously went on justifying himself and the CM in an interview with Sreenivasan Jain from NDTV. Finally Vasu gave him one last chance to redeem himself, and asked him given the public reaction to the "terror tourism" that he indulged in, if such an opportunity arose again in the future, would he do it? RGV answered very much assertively that he would. There is a thin line between being candid and going overboard, that was when RGV crossed the line.
The ex-Deputy CM, RR Patil went one step ahead and said "Bade bade shahron mein aise ekaadh haadse hote rahte hai". With that comment he made the 26/11 attacks as another common place accident, nothing that the media and common man should get hyper about. The insensitivity was one of the many reasons, he lost his position, that's why the ex besides his designation. His followers tried to make light of it by saying Mr Patil was not well versed in Hindi, and hence he might have misworded what he actually meant. The explanation was too little, too late.
The crudest and the most unexplicable gaffe, now being called 'the lipstick gaffe' came from BJP member, Mr Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi. If I remember well his version when translated in English read as "Ladies wearing lipstick, applying talcum powder and following western culture, light a candle and protest against the politicians. They are similar to the terrorists in Kashmir, demonising politicians, and bad mouthing democracy". Obviously women's groups are in a furore all over the country. So apparently ladies wearing lipstick and applying talcum powder have no right to protest or voice their opinion, they can be equated with terrorists. What a liberating thought!
The biggest and unforgivable statement is the one coming from Kerala's CM, Mr Achutanandan. Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan who is a Malayalee was killed in the 26/11 attacks, when he was rescuing the people trapped in the Taj. After his body made it to Bengaluru, and after even the Karnataka CM made it to his house to offer condolences, there was a media frenzy in Kerala, prompting Mr Achutanandan to express his desire to pay his last respects to the Major's family. Apparently saddened by his son's loss, the Major's father made it clear to the CM that he did not wish to meet anyone. Even then the next day, the CM with his entourage reached the Major's house to pay his respects. Shaken because of his son's death and angered by the politics around something as trivial as paying respects to him, the Major's father drove out the entire group from out of his house and shouted out aloud "Get out of my house, you dogs!" After going back to Kerala, the Kerala CM tells in an interview "A soldier's father should be more sensible. If it was not the house of Major Sandeep (a martyr), not even a dog would have turned up there". It is ridiculous that a person at such a responsible position can utter such insensitive statements and even refuse to apologize.
The politicians and ministers have to understand that they are public servants and not drown in the highrises of their chairs. Emotions are running high all over the country nowadays, and the dirty politics which seem to follow every such event just seem to be beginning. The boiling point of people's emotions seems not too far off now, if the heat does not die soon, and the first ones to get scalded might be the politicians.
Monday, December 1, 2008
War and Vocab
There are two new words that the 26/11 terror attacks on Mumbai taught me.
1) Terror tourism - When people visit sites torn by terrorist attacks not for apparent heritage tourism or nature tourism purposes, but to revel in the glory of disaster caused by mankind very intentionally and brutally. It was most frequenty referred to in the case of the chief minister of Maharashtra, Mr Vilasrao Deshmukh who apparently took director Ram Gopal Verma with him to visit the Taj Mahal Hotel which was the most struck by the 26/11 attacks. Accompanying RGV was Mr. Deshmukh's son, Riteish Deshmukh (yes he has added an 'i' in his name, as suggested by his numerologist), an actor by profession, who has starred in couple of movies made by RGV. This action of terror tourism encouraged by Mr Deshmukh set the rumor tongues wagging that probably RGV is planning a movie on the recent terror attacks on Taj, being a "realistic" movie maker that he is (I don't buy that), and Vilasrao Deshmukh is promoting his own son to be cast as an actor in that movie, and hence the opportunity to see the Taj in its now shambles situation as a sop provided by Mr Deshmukh. The apparently insensitive "terror tourism" promoted by Mr Deshmukh might cause him his position, his head might be the one to roll next.
2) War Whores - All the people who are up-to-date and keep others updated with all news related to the war and terrorist attacks. These people post graphic details of heads, arms, legs, and other bloody body parts disengaged from the rest of the body on social networking sites. They are brazen proponents of the idea that the answer to the 26/11 terrorist attack is another war with Pakistan, just so that they get an opportunity to slut in the bloody aftermath. They are glued to TV all times during such attacks, and rather than providing helpful information, they spread news without waiting to ascertain whether they are certified facts or just rumors. It's not that this set of people have a criminal bent of mind, or anything of that sort, but in their excitement to show solidarity with the victims of the terrorists attacks, they go overboard and make themselves sound as if they are enjoying the war tidbits.
Whoring on the war news in the dailies has definitely increased my language skills.
1) Terror tourism - When people visit sites torn by terrorist attacks not for apparent heritage tourism or nature tourism purposes, but to revel in the glory of disaster caused by mankind very intentionally and brutally. It was most frequenty referred to in the case of the chief minister of Maharashtra, Mr Vilasrao Deshmukh who apparently took director Ram Gopal Verma with him to visit the Taj Mahal Hotel which was the most struck by the 26/11 attacks. Accompanying RGV was Mr. Deshmukh's son, Riteish Deshmukh (yes he has added an 'i' in his name, as suggested by his numerologist), an actor by profession, who has starred in couple of movies made by RGV. This action of terror tourism encouraged by Mr Deshmukh set the rumor tongues wagging that probably RGV is planning a movie on the recent terror attacks on Taj, being a "realistic" movie maker that he is (I don't buy that), and Vilasrao Deshmukh is promoting his own son to be cast as an actor in that movie, and hence the opportunity to see the Taj in its now shambles situation as a sop provided by Mr Deshmukh. The apparently insensitive "terror tourism" promoted by Mr Deshmukh might cause him his position, his head might be the one to roll next.
2) War Whores - All the people who are up-to-date and keep others updated with all news related to the war and terrorist attacks. These people post graphic details of heads, arms, legs, and other bloody body parts disengaged from the rest of the body on social networking sites. They are brazen proponents of the idea that the answer to the 26/11 terrorist attack is another war with Pakistan, just so that they get an opportunity to slut in the bloody aftermath. They are glued to TV all times during such attacks, and rather than providing helpful information, they spread news without waiting to ascertain whether they are certified facts or just rumors. It's not that this set of people have a criminal bent of mind, or anything of that sort, but in their excitement to show solidarity with the victims of the terrorists attacks, they go overboard and make themselves sound as if they are enjoying the war tidbits.
Whoring on the war news in the dailies has definitely increased my language skills.
Friday, November 28, 2008
The dark night
The dark night
Nov 27 2008 - 1.50 pm
It's been 12 hours now since I last spoke with Shibu. It's been about 8 hours since he last communicated with his parents. It's been about 16 and half hours since he has been out there on the streets covering the brazen terrorist attacks on Mumbai. Just a day after returning back from our very very pleasant stay in Gangtok, we were thrown right deep into the vagaries of tough life in a city like Mumbai. A night when an iconic landmark and a beautiful edifice was turned into a battle zone. Lack of sleep, overflowing tears and constantly watching reruns of the same terror shots on TV all night made my eyes weary. That's when the phone rang and I got to hear from him that all's well and he is back in the office. Thank God for a feeling called relief.
Nov 27 2008 - 1.50 pm
It's been 12 hours now since I last spoke with Shibu. It's been about 8 hours since he last communicated with his parents. It's been about 16 and half hours since he has been out there on the streets covering the brazen terrorist attacks on Mumbai. Just a day after returning back from our very very pleasant stay in Gangtok, we were thrown right deep into the vagaries of tough life in a city like Mumbai. A night when an iconic landmark and a beautiful edifice was turned into a battle zone. Lack of sleep, overflowing tears and constantly watching reruns of the same terror shots on TV all night made my eyes weary. That's when the phone rang and I got to hear from him that all's well and he is back in the office. Thank God for a feeling called relief.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Book Review: The Preservationist
The Preservationist is an interesting first novel by David Maine. Unlike other first novels, this one is not purely or semi autobiographical, rather it is inspired by the age old Biblical story of Noah and his ark from the book of Genesis. Like your childhood school task of 'Create a story from the outline given', David Maine takes the few outlines of the story from the Bible and creates a full fledged first novel out of it. The characters which are just names in the Bible are now characters which breathe, eat, drink, fight, gossip, rut, go through the entire gamut of emotions that all of us as human beings go through.
Born in 1963, and having travelled and lived all over the world primarily the desertscapes of Arizona, Morocco and Pakistan, it is interesting to see Maine's knowledge of vast deserts and the animals and insects that inhabit the desert plains make their way into the book. Maine's writing style is so simple but elaborate that picturesque images of the entire episode get created in your mind instantly. The book is an elegant retelling of the ancient story which captures people's efforts and hopes at a time of global disaster.
The names and quotations in the book are taken from the 1914 printing of the Douay Bible, which was an English translation from the Latin version. All names are spelled as in that edition. So Noah becomes Noe, and the God he answers to becomes Yahweh. We are also introduced to a string of characters belonging to the family of Noe: his wife (who incidentally is unnamed throughout the book and the Bible as well, even the wife herself can't remember her name in the novel), his sons - Sem, Cham and Japheth and their wives Bera, Illya and Mirn respectively. These three women are never named in the Bible; Maine names them, gives them voices, and turns them into his most fascinating characters, much more tougher than any of the muscled men. We see the Forrest Gumpian effort that Noe had to entail to bring this family of distinct personalities together to build a huge ark as God had instructed without being able to explain to his family why exactly the ark was being built. The book is awaiting a Mel Gibson to pick up the rights to make it into a spectacular movie laden with special effects.
Maine writes the entire episode in a very simplistically funny vein, for e.g.: In the following passage where he explains Noe's situation in the ark when he was unconscious for about 6 weeks:
"His day is simplified to its most basic elements:
1. Breathe.
2. Sleep.
3. Wake, or half-wake, into a foggy semi-delirium in which he chokes out half-intelligible words: Nigh tangles! or possibly Night angles! or maybe even Nightingales! Or perhaps something else entirely - nice angels? - or nothing.
4. Sip a little water from the cup the wife holds to his chin. Sip a little broth.
5. Chew a piece of carrot or flatbread, swallow it or spit it to dribble down his chin."
The great thing about the novel is that it is not preachy at all. Not about the Christian faith, not even about humanity in general. Maine could easily have slipped into a prophetical mode, where he draws parallel between the evils that plagued the society then with the ones today, and probably mention a similar catastrophe in waiting. But he avoids doing so. Instead he treats the novel just as if he is narrating a story to his kids.
Each of the characters in the family are as individualistic as any of the members in a real life joint family. So while Noe is the crazy guy who hears voices from above, his wife is this submissive, reticent lady who only does as she is instructed and expected of her. Sam is the obedient son, obedient to the point where he has no thought of his own and only listens to his father. Cham is the knowledgeable son, who has travelled far and wide and learnt more about the world outside. He is the primary boat builder. Japheth is a useless, accident prone no-gooder who can't see beyond the basic necessities of life. Sam's wife Bera is a calm, persistent and a firm believer in Yahweh. Ilya is an outsider to the family, who looks different from all the others and constantly has to face the discrimination. But since she is from a different land way up in the north, she has better knowledge of the world outside. Mirn is just a young girl, but with lots of common sense and a deep sense of curiousity for the happenings around her. While the characters are distinguished from one another by quirks and obsessions, their voices are not a problem, as the chapters alternate points of view. Every character in the story other than Noe narrates some chapters from their point of view, and then there is a narrator for Noe's part. So the story alternates between different people's first person views of the story to a third person view from time to time.
While the Bible only mentions that there was a flood and Noah and his family were entrusted with building an ark and filling it up with a male and female animal of all the species known to mankind, it offers little detail on how they actually built the ark or collected those many animals. Which Maine interestingly builds up in this novel. Maine also provides intricate details of the suffering that the family had to undergo on the boat. Writing in a breezy present tense, Maine imagines how they spend their time: telling stories, feeding larvae to birds, getting bummed out, rutting. He writes of the ship's interior: "From the darkness around them rises a dull effulgence of elephant dung, of rhino shit and wet hippo gas."
As the story progresses and the flood subsides, we even see the characters maturing as they set out to different corners of the earth to procreate and populate the earth again. And Noe's desperation as he realizes that Yahweh is no longer communicating with him, he has become one of the commoners who is left to do things on his own without any instructions. Slowly his wife grows old and dies and later he also dies a lonely death. These are the facts of the story as mentioned in the Bible, and they remain mysterious both to the characters and to the reader. Maine hasn't attempted to explain these mysteries, rather he leaves the reader wondering whether at the end of it all the entire episode was worth the trouble at all.
Born in 1963, and having travelled and lived all over the world primarily the desertscapes of Arizona, Morocco and Pakistan, it is interesting to see Maine's knowledge of vast deserts and the animals and insects that inhabit the desert plains make their way into the book. Maine's writing style is so simple but elaborate that picturesque images of the entire episode get created in your mind instantly. The book is an elegant retelling of the ancient story which captures people's efforts and hopes at a time of global disaster.
The names and quotations in the book are taken from the 1914 printing of the Douay Bible, which was an English translation from the Latin version. All names are spelled as in that edition. So Noah becomes Noe, and the God he answers to becomes Yahweh. We are also introduced to a string of characters belonging to the family of Noe: his wife (who incidentally is unnamed throughout the book and the Bible as well, even the wife herself can't remember her name in the novel), his sons - Sem, Cham and Japheth and their wives Bera, Illya and Mirn respectively. These three women are never named in the Bible; Maine names them, gives them voices, and turns them into his most fascinating characters, much more tougher than any of the muscled men. We see the Forrest Gumpian effort that Noe had to entail to bring this family of distinct personalities together to build a huge ark as God had instructed without being able to explain to his family why exactly the ark was being built. The book is awaiting a Mel Gibson to pick up the rights to make it into a spectacular movie laden with special effects.
Maine writes the entire episode in a very simplistically funny vein, for e.g.: In the following passage where he explains Noe's situation in the ark when he was unconscious for about 6 weeks:
"His day is simplified to its most basic elements:
1. Breathe.
2. Sleep.
3. Wake, or half-wake, into a foggy semi-delirium in which he chokes out half-intelligible words: Nigh tangles! or possibly Night angles! or maybe even Nightingales! Or perhaps something else entirely - nice angels? - or nothing.
4. Sip a little water from the cup the wife holds to his chin. Sip a little broth.
5. Chew a piece of carrot or flatbread, swallow it or spit it to dribble down his chin."
The great thing about the novel is that it is not preachy at all. Not about the Christian faith, not even about humanity in general. Maine could easily have slipped into a prophetical mode, where he draws parallel between the evils that plagued the society then with the ones today, and probably mention a similar catastrophe in waiting. But he avoids doing so. Instead he treats the novel just as if he is narrating a story to his kids.
Each of the characters in the family are as individualistic as any of the members in a real life joint family. So while Noe is the crazy guy who hears voices from above, his wife is this submissive, reticent lady who only does as she is instructed and expected of her. Sam is the obedient son, obedient to the point where he has no thought of his own and only listens to his father. Cham is the knowledgeable son, who has travelled far and wide and learnt more about the world outside. He is the primary boat builder. Japheth is a useless, accident prone no-gooder who can't see beyond the basic necessities of life. Sam's wife Bera is a calm, persistent and a firm believer in Yahweh. Ilya is an outsider to the family, who looks different from all the others and constantly has to face the discrimination. But since she is from a different land way up in the north, she has better knowledge of the world outside. Mirn is just a young girl, but with lots of common sense and a deep sense of curiousity for the happenings around her. While the characters are distinguished from one another by quirks and obsessions, their voices are not a problem, as the chapters alternate points of view. Every character in the story other than Noe narrates some chapters from their point of view, and then there is a narrator for Noe's part. So the story alternates between different people's first person views of the story to a third person view from time to time.
While the Bible only mentions that there was a flood and Noah and his family were entrusted with building an ark and filling it up with a male and female animal of all the species known to mankind, it offers little detail on how they actually built the ark or collected those many animals. Which Maine interestingly builds up in this novel. Maine also provides intricate details of the suffering that the family had to undergo on the boat. Writing in a breezy present tense, Maine imagines how they spend their time: telling stories, feeding larvae to birds, getting bummed out, rutting. He writes of the ship's interior: "From the darkness around them rises a dull effulgence of elephant dung, of rhino shit and wet hippo gas."
As the story progresses and the flood subsides, we even see the characters maturing as they set out to different corners of the earth to procreate and populate the earth again. And Noe's desperation as he realizes that Yahweh is no longer communicating with him, he has become one of the commoners who is left to do things on his own without any instructions. Slowly his wife grows old and dies and later he also dies a lonely death. These are the facts of the story as mentioned in the Bible, and they remain mysterious both to the characters and to the reader. Maine hasn't attempted to explain these mysteries, rather he leaves the reader wondering whether at the end of it all the entire episode was worth the trouble at all.
Dostana
The stars of the movie Dostana - Ass, Legs, and Pink Shirt in conversation with the producer of the movie, Mr Pink Money.
Pink Money (PM) : Let's start with you Ass. I hear you have a great role in the movie. Wanna talk about it?
Ass: You know I generally let my work do the talking. And I knew I would look great on John what with all of his months of exercising in preparing for this role. After Ranbir showed me off gleefully in all parts of the world other than India, John had been waiting for a while for someone to offer him a similar role. I am so glad that PM you walked along and offered him this role. Never has anyone taken me more seriously than him. John royally pampered me and prepared me for the opening shots of the movie. So you have a great opening sequence with John and me in the movie. Anyways I was always more emotive than his face. PM, it was only because of you that I got this favorable role. Although I could show very less of myself from under those briefs of his, I never looked better. Actually there are many shots of me even on Piggy Chops, but for Piggy Chops I am fashionably draped around. You always liked me more on John.
PM: That's so not true Ass, you ass! Even Piggy Chops shows off a good amount of you in the golden bikini scene in the movie. I like you on both John and Piggy.
Ass: I didn't stand a chance to be noticed in that golden bikini. I looked like such a bummer. And c'mon the bikini scene was more to show off Miss Legs.
Legs: Well, Piggy wanted to show off more of me than you anyways, Ass. Since Kareena's Tashan days, Piggy's been wanting to get one up on Kareena. And both in Fashion and Dostana she showed off lots of me. This has been the golden part of my careeer. Everyone wants to show off more of me. Ass, it will be a while more for the Indian audiences to mature and move on to you. Until then you will have to satisfy showing small peek-a-boos of yours. And trust me, the men in the audience want to see more of me than you, other than maybe PM's loyal pink fan following.
PM: Ah! my pink fans! I have so much to be thankful to them. They royally lap up anything made by my banner, thinking that it will add more razzmatazz to the pink power movement. It leads to more pink money for me, so I am not the one to complain. It's only because of my pink money that I can make all of you top stars work in my movies, even in the most ridiculous outfits. Don't you agree Pink Shirt?
Pink Shirt: What kind of a question is that? You are equating me with bad fasion sense? Didn't I look gorgeous on Abhishek in this movie? And with the pink scarf around his neck. All of it looked great. Indian men have always been comfortable with their pink shirts. I looked great even on Akshay in his last movie 'Singh is King'. He wore a floral version of me and a deep pink lungi. It was just perfect. Abhishek was a bit more resistant to wearing pink in this movie though. Actually those were just tantrums on his side to get hands on more of your pink money. He was getting no good roles and no money anyways. He had to accept this one, and I am so glad he did. He carried me off well, and I am sure I will see more Indian men turning the city and the country pink soon. Only Indian men wear their hearts on their sleeves and their shirts to match that color on their sleeves.
PM: That's great PS. Here's more to pink power. And you guys don't go anywhere, we are still in conversation with Ass, Legs and Pink Shirt, the stars of the movie Dostana.
AND NOW FOR A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE...
Yes, that's what the movie is all about. It's a showcase for John's ass, Priyanka's legs and Abhishek turning pink. It will be a hit for sure and audiences will lap it up, Karan is quite the manipulator. Even the gays in the audience will walk out of the movie thinking that this movie does showcase them positively. Obviously with two top heroes and beefcakes being paired together as a couple in the movie, no one can complain that gays are being given a raw deal in the movie. Look clearly guys, whenever they have to act gay, they go all flamboyant and loud and OTT and all they talk about is sex. And all the other gay characters in the movie are again just caricatures of everything the straight world expects when they hear the word gay. Even if all the flamboyant gay characters in the movie had been at least a bit peppered with a couple of regular, normal gay guys like the ones we see in real life, I wouldn't have complained. But clearly that is not what Karan Johar had in his mind. Ultimately the movie has to make money, and Karan also never claimed that the movie is about gay rights. So no complaints against him. I have a problem with the gay audience who are saying that the movie is the most gay-friendly movie to come out. Seriously?
The movie is indeed historical and will be talked about for ages to come. For the word gay has never been uttered in Hindi movies. And here you have an entire movie based on a gay sub plot. Just for pushing gay into Hindi mainstream cinema, I think, Karan Johar and the director of the movie, Tarun Mansukhani deserve some credit. They could have easily touched any other topic and made as much, if not more money.
If only, the makers had stuck with the gay theme and thought of a better plot to move the story forward in the second half it would have been more satisfying. So we have a very funny first half where John and Abhishek take up two rooms in Priyanka's apartment on rent. Priyanka needs the money and John and Abhishek are desperate to get the rooms. Since Priyanka would have only girls as her room mates, the two put up an act as a gay couple to get the room. This part of the plot and the jokes are heavily borrowed from the English movie 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry'. I must admit though that this movie is only a tad better than that one. At least here we have a great cast, and great songs.
As they discover the benefits of putting up this act, there are more and more people around who come to know that they are gay. So you have an overacting, but very funny Kirron Kher who discovers that her son is gay; you have a hideous Sushmita Mukherjee hamming all her way to Sindhi stardom; a gora gay immigration officer; and a flamboyant Boman Irani (great, again) who plays Priyanka's gay boss and hits on her supposedly gay roommates. So far, so good. It's when the jokes dry down in this part of the movie, that probably the makers realized that there is only so much of stretching that they can do with the Kantaben subplot from Kal Ho Na Ho. And that's where the story begins to falter. Enter Bobby Deol who is also a competition for Priyanka's attention and his kid (who is that overacting kid?) who is clamoring for his father's attention, and you have such gaping holes in the plot line that even John's ass can pass through them.
The movie is funny, yes, but largely because it is irreverent to the accepted social norms of Hindi movie making. But I beg to differ if anyone says it is a sensible, or a well made or even a genuinely funny movie. It is everything that I expect from Bollywood when I go for the movies - great looking actors, glamorous costumes, great music, great dances, and lavish sets. If all this comes with a tight script and good performances, then nothing like it. This movie gives me all of my first set of requirements, can't say much of the second set. So I end up not being disappointed in the great tradition of Bollywood movies, but that's just about it.
The movie is about friendship as the title suggests, and I must mention that all three - John, AB junior and Priyanka - look like they genuinely share a great friendship. The chemistry between the three of them shows on the screen, and especially John and Abhishek do look great together. Bobby Deol does not fit in the proceedings, no matter how much he tries, and with that irritating no-gooder son of his, he better stay away from the main story. The fast-paced songs are great and well choreographed. Especially the grand finale song - Maa Ka Laadla. The song is hugely funny especially because it cares a rat's ass about any societal norms and is hugely politically incorrect, I guess Karan Johar is coming out to his mom through the song. I hope she sess it at least now...
Pink Money (PM) : Let's start with you Ass. I hear you have a great role in the movie. Wanna talk about it?
Ass: You know I generally let my work do the talking. And I knew I would look great on John what with all of his months of exercising in preparing for this role. After Ranbir showed me off gleefully in all parts of the world other than India, John had been waiting for a while for someone to offer him a similar role. I am so glad that PM you walked along and offered him this role. Never has anyone taken me more seriously than him. John royally pampered me and prepared me for the opening shots of the movie. So you have a great opening sequence with John and me in the movie. Anyways I was always more emotive than his face. PM, it was only because of you that I got this favorable role. Although I could show very less of myself from under those briefs of his, I never looked better. Actually there are many shots of me even on Piggy Chops, but for Piggy Chops I am fashionably draped around. You always liked me more on John.
PM: That's so not true Ass, you ass! Even Piggy Chops shows off a good amount of you in the golden bikini scene in the movie. I like you on both John and Piggy.
Ass: I didn't stand a chance to be noticed in that golden bikini. I looked like such a bummer. And c'mon the bikini scene was more to show off Miss Legs.
Legs: Well, Piggy wanted to show off more of me than you anyways, Ass. Since Kareena's Tashan days, Piggy's been wanting to get one up on Kareena. And both in Fashion and Dostana she showed off lots of me. This has been the golden part of my careeer. Everyone wants to show off more of me. Ass, it will be a while more for the Indian audiences to mature and move on to you. Until then you will have to satisfy showing small peek-a-boos of yours. And trust me, the men in the audience want to see more of me than you, other than maybe PM's loyal pink fan following.
PM: Ah! my pink fans! I have so much to be thankful to them. They royally lap up anything made by my banner, thinking that it will add more razzmatazz to the pink power movement. It leads to more pink money for me, so I am not the one to complain. It's only because of my pink money that I can make all of you top stars work in my movies, even in the most ridiculous outfits. Don't you agree Pink Shirt?
Pink Shirt: What kind of a question is that? You are equating me with bad fasion sense? Didn't I look gorgeous on Abhishek in this movie? And with the pink scarf around his neck. All of it looked great. Indian men have always been comfortable with their pink shirts. I looked great even on Akshay in his last movie 'Singh is King'. He wore a floral version of me and a deep pink lungi. It was just perfect. Abhishek was a bit more resistant to wearing pink in this movie though. Actually those were just tantrums on his side to get hands on more of your pink money. He was getting no good roles and no money anyways. He had to accept this one, and I am so glad he did. He carried me off well, and I am sure I will see more Indian men turning the city and the country pink soon. Only Indian men wear their hearts on their sleeves and their shirts to match that color on their sleeves.
PM: That's great PS. Here's more to pink power. And you guys don't go anywhere, we are still in conversation with Ass, Legs and Pink Shirt, the stars of the movie Dostana.
AND NOW FOR A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE...
Yes, that's what the movie is all about. It's a showcase for John's ass, Priyanka's legs and Abhishek turning pink. It will be a hit for sure and audiences will lap it up, Karan is quite the manipulator. Even the gays in the audience will walk out of the movie thinking that this movie does showcase them positively. Obviously with two top heroes and beefcakes being paired together as a couple in the movie, no one can complain that gays are being given a raw deal in the movie. Look clearly guys, whenever they have to act gay, they go all flamboyant and loud and OTT and all they talk about is sex. And all the other gay characters in the movie are again just caricatures of everything the straight world expects when they hear the word gay. Even if all the flamboyant gay characters in the movie had been at least a bit peppered with a couple of regular, normal gay guys like the ones we see in real life, I wouldn't have complained. But clearly that is not what Karan Johar had in his mind. Ultimately the movie has to make money, and Karan also never claimed that the movie is about gay rights. So no complaints against him. I have a problem with the gay audience who are saying that the movie is the most gay-friendly movie to come out. Seriously?
The movie is indeed historical and will be talked about for ages to come. For the word gay has never been uttered in Hindi movies. And here you have an entire movie based on a gay sub plot. Just for pushing gay into Hindi mainstream cinema, I think, Karan Johar and the director of the movie, Tarun Mansukhani deserve some credit. They could have easily touched any other topic and made as much, if not more money.
If only, the makers had stuck with the gay theme and thought of a better plot to move the story forward in the second half it would have been more satisfying. So we have a very funny first half where John and Abhishek take up two rooms in Priyanka's apartment on rent. Priyanka needs the money and John and Abhishek are desperate to get the rooms. Since Priyanka would have only girls as her room mates, the two put up an act as a gay couple to get the room. This part of the plot and the jokes are heavily borrowed from the English movie 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry'. I must admit though that this movie is only a tad better than that one. At least here we have a great cast, and great songs.
As they discover the benefits of putting up this act, there are more and more people around who come to know that they are gay. So you have an overacting, but very funny Kirron Kher who discovers that her son is gay; you have a hideous Sushmita Mukherjee hamming all her way to Sindhi stardom; a gora gay immigration officer; and a flamboyant Boman Irani (great, again) who plays Priyanka's gay boss and hits on her supposedly gay roommates. So far, so good. It's when the jokes dry down in this part of the movie, that probably the makers realized that there is only so much of stretching that they can do with the Kantaben subplot from Kal Ho Na Ho. And that's where the story begins to falter. Enter Bobby Deol who is also a competition for Priyanka's attention and his kid (who is that overacting kid?) who is clamoring for his father's attention, and you have such gaping holes in the plot line that even John's ass can pass through them.
The movie is funny, yes, but largely because it is irreverent to the accepted social norms of Hindi movie making. But I beg to differ if anyone says it is a sensible, or a well made or even a genuinely funny movie. It is everything that I expect from Bollywood when I go for the movies - great looking actors, glamorous costumes, great music, great dances, and lavish sets. If all this comes with a tight script and good performances, then nothing like it. This movie gives me all of my first set of requirements, can't say much of the second set. So I end up not being disappointed in the great tradition of Bollywood movies, but that's just about it.
The movie is about friendship as the title suggests, and I must mention that all three - John, AB junior and Priyanka - look like they genuinely share a great friendship. The chemistry between the three of them shows on the screen, and especially John and Abhishek do look great together. Bobby Deol does not fit in the proceedings, no matter how much he tries, and with that irritating no-gooder son of his, he better stay away from the main story. The fast-paced songs are great and well choreographed. Especially the grand finale song - Maa Ka Laadla. The song is hugely funny especially because it cares a rat's ass about any societal norms and is hugely politically incorrect, I guess Karan Johar is coming out to his mom through the song. I hope she sess it at least now...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Truth
For the past two weeks, every Tuesday has been a rush-rush affair for me. I try to wind up my work before 7 pm, have dinner by 8 pm and I am back home on the couch in front of the TV to catch the latest episode of 'The Moment of Truth' by 9 pm. There has been no other show that has captured my imagination so much, as far as memory serves me. Probably after Project Runway, this is the only show that I have made time for diligently week after week.
Deep within my heart, I am actually ashamed that I am so fond of this show. It's because I am aware that it's voyeuristic, exploitative, and makes a great viewing experience of someone else's misery. But I have to admit, it's hugely entertaining. So much that in the last episode that was aired in India, I had my heart racing and I was actually jumping on my seat answering on behalf of the participant. It's actually very unfortunate and extremely sad that the contestant had to lose both her husband and her money at the end of the show. Yes, the questions broke the contestant's marriage and she also ended up getting no money because of one mistake.
The basic premise of the show is that you have to answer truthfully, all the questions posed to you. The questions range from the mundane to the silly to the personal types. There are 21 questions posed, at the end of which you go back home with half a million dollars. The only catch being that you have to answer only the truth. If God forbid, the lie detector marks any of your answers as false, you end up going home with nothing. If you are wondering to yourself how could this be so difficult, let me assure you it is probably much more difficult than enduring all those physical tribulations on the Survivor series. The questions get far way too personal, much beyond the comfort levels of even the host of the show. And the farthest any contestant has reached so far in the show is Question no 16. I can't imagine how personal and tricky the last few questions on the show would be if anyone were to ever face it.
For e.g.: Suppose someone asked me, would you donate one of your kidneys to your sister in case both her kidneys failed and yours is a match? Sure, Of course, Without any doubt, I would say if someone were to randomly ask me this question on the street. But what if deep within my heart somewhere I am not so sure whether that is a good idea. Subconsciously, my answer would be hmmmm....I don't know. If I am now strapped to a lie detector and asked the same question on the show, and if I were to answer Yes sure, Of course, then I would be out of the show with no money gained from my previous truthful answers.
Another question to which you might just not know the answer is of the types "Do you think you are a good person?". Again our immediate tendency might be to answer Yes. None of us are that great sinners who have done such horrible things, that we would call ourselves bad people. But even for a fraction of a second when you are asked this question, if your mind trespasses to any of your previous wrong doings, like the time you stole some money from your dad's pocket, or the time when you quite purposefully did something wrong against one of your colleagues at work, so that you get to outshine him at work, then this would be captured by the lie detector. And then if you answer affirmatively to the question, the lie detector would disagree with you.
That was the question at which the last contestant lost all her money. And that after she had answered truthfully to the other 15 hugely personal and difficult questions. Questions which broke her marriage, questioned her fidelity, and labelled her as a thief. It's extremely unfortunate that she lost her money to a question that looks so simple and straightforward on the outside, but we all know how difficult it could be to answer.
And as entertaining as it might be, it still troubles me that it's extremely exploitative. It's sad that I am enjoying the spectacle of someone else's misery. Maybe if I am asked the same question "Do you think you are a good person?", my mind might trespass to this grey area and my lie detector would beep.
Deep within my heart, I am actually ashamed that I am so fond of this show. It's because I am aware that it's voyeuristic, exploitative, and makes a great viewing experience of someone else's misery. But I have to admit, it's hugely entertaining. So much that in the last episode that was aired in India, I had my heart racing and I was actually jumping on my seat answering on behalf of the participant. It's actually very unfortunate and extremely sad that the contestant had to lose both her husband and her money at the end of the show. Yes, the questions broke the contestant's marriage and she also ended up getting no money because of one mistake.
The basic premise of the show is that you have to answer truthfully, all the questions posed to you. The questions range from the mundane to the silly to the personal types. There are 21 questions posed, at the end of which you go back home with half a million dollars. The only catch being that you have to answer only the truth. If God forbid, the lie detector marks any of your answers as false, you end up going home with nothing. If you are wondering to yourself how could this be so difficult, let me assure you it is probably much more difficult than enduring all those physical tribulations on the Survivor series. The questions get far way too personal, much beyond the comfort levels of even the host of the show. And the farthest any contestant has reached so far in the show is Question no 16. I can't imagine how personal and tricky the last few questions on the show would be if anyone were to ever face it.
For e.g.: Suppose someone asked me, would you donate one of your kidneys to your sister in case both her kidneys failed and yours is a match? Sure, Of course, Without any doubt, I would say if someone were to randomly ask me this question on the street. But what if deep within my heart somewhere I am not so sure whether that is a good idea. Subconsciously, my answer would be hmmmm....I don't know. If I am now strapped to a lie detector and asked the same question on the show, and if I were to answer Yes sure, Of course, then I would be out of the show with no money gained from my previous truthful answers.
Another question to which you might just not know the answer is of the types "Do you think you are a good person?". Again our immediate tendency might be to answer Yes. None of us are that great sinners who have done such horrible things, that we would call ourselves bad people. But even for a fraction of a second when you are asked this question, if your mind trespasses to any of your previous wrong doings, like the time you stole some money from your dad's pocket, or the time when you quite purposefully did something wrong against one of your colleagues at work, so that you get to outshine him at work, then this would be captured by the lie detector. And then if you answer affirmatively to the question, the lie detector would disagree with you.
That was the question at which the last contestant lost all her money. And that after she had answered truthfully to the other 15 hugely personal and difficult questions. Questions which broke her marriage, questioned her fidelity, and labelled her as a thief. It's extremely unfortunate that she lost her money to a question that looks so simple and straightforward on the outside, but we all know how difficult it could be to answer.
And as entertaining as it might be, it still troubles me that it's extremely exploitative. It's sad that I am enjoying the spectacle of someone else's misery. Maybe if I am asked the same question "Do you think you are a good person?", my mind might trespass to this grey area and my lie detector would beep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)